"I am," I said
To no one there
But no one heard at all
Not even a chair
     -Neil Diamond

1 Jun 98 -Ah, jetlag. It's 4am eastern Australian time, and I'm wide awake. I've been awake since two, which is what happens when you go to bed at 7pm. Not that I really mind, since I'm on the other side of the world, in a hotel with a great ocean view and my employer is picking up the tab. I just wish it wasn't fall here, because the sun setting at 5:30 isn't helping my body clock at all. I know, I know, there are people out there with bigger problems, but, hey, this is my web page and I don't have to talk about them. I am the center of this universe, and if you don't like it, hit the back button.

Please note I said I am the center of this universe, not the universe. My ego is nowhere near that inflated, although if I really felt like being a bitch, I could tell you about some people I know who think they are the center of the universe. But I'm not gonna.

Like most hotel rooms in major cities, there isn't much on TV here, particularly at 4am. I'm watching Hunter now. People talk about Americans being sports crazy, but of the nine channels I get in the room, one is ESPN and two cover a particular football (that's Australian Rules Football, not soccer and not American football. Maybe you remember it from the early days of ESPN.) or rugby league 24-hours a day. Football features a red ball, convenient for McDonald's, which advertises its famous golden arches on it. I'm not a big anti-advertisement nut, but that takes the cake. What's next? Sunkist plasters their logo on the NBA's basketballs? Wait, the rugby channel is now showing aerobics, so I guess it's just another sports channel; I think my first impression was a little more interesting.